Sunday, June 19, 2016

Fiction within Fiction Part I

         A lot of things are fictional in America in a bad way and I feel like the new way of self-publishing  is helping creating a new category of fiction within fiction.

         Okay let’s take a moment here to understand this. By fiction, I don’t mean the actual story. That wouldn’t make any sense. I’m talking about fiction in in terms of things that should exist in real life. Things that they talk about a lot and that doesn’t exist.
       And this, ladies and gentlemen, is really bad. Allow me to elaborate.

        Let’s take these contemporary authors for example who writes Historical Romance. This genre doesn’t exist in our present day because every single new books classified as Historical Romance is porn about people in the past. It’s like explaining how people in the past did it. It’s fine except that there’s not character development and every single characters just want to do it.

        If you don’t believe me, go to and pick up any new Historical Romance books (and by new I mean published around 2014, 15, and 16). I’m not talking about the ones in the libraries, the ones that had been seen by actual editors. I’m talking about Amazon here and it saddens my heart to see that one good genre disappearing behind the pile of BS these authors are selling.

      Am I the only one who notice that there's something wrong with his the Historical Romance genre? Let me know your thought.  Stay tune. Fiction within Fiction will come soon.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

List of characters for I Want You So Bad!

This my main character Magalie. I haven't found anyone fair enough to portray her. But if you have any suggestions, let me know.
goth girl photo: Gothic Girl goth.jpg

This is Brad second main character. I love him. I wish i had a better picture of him. He's a British actor.

blond man photo:  001r.jpg

alex pettyfer photo:  Alex_Pettyfer.jpg

Marcus A.K.A Number 21 :)

chord overstreet photo: Chord Overstreet chord-overstreet.jpg

Introducing Hadrien (Brad's best friend)

avan jogia photo: avan jogia tumblr_lzq1g24OK11qezddto1_500_zpsb0b04605.gif

And after a struggle between Adriana Grande and the H.SM star I choose her as my bad guy Vanessa. It was hard really.

If you guys any suggestions let me know. XOXOXO :)

The Unexpected Kiss (Chapter 8 of I Want You So Bad!)

chord overstreet photo: Chord Overstreet chord-overstreet.jpg

I had pictured a small party with only Brad's soccer teammates but it turned out to be over a hundred people. There were people all over, at the pool, on the patios, in the living room...

I was walking around trying to find Brad when I saw Vanessa in the living room next to the two sided fireplace. She had on a red prom dress-- sparkling red tulle that went all the way down to the floor over a knee length red satin lining, plus a rhinestone pendant around the waist. I puffed my laugh with my palms. I completely understood the look on the face of the people around her and why she had to stand in the corner.

"Sup creepy girl!" I had to greet the prom queen.

"Are you talking to me?" She said lifting her glasses.

She was sweating a lot and her makeup was melting off her face--totally understandable with all the attention she was getting.

"No. Another prom Mardi-gras queen with a red dress on. Yes you freak!" Since I had to yell because the loud music which suddenly stopped for some unknown reason, everybody in the room heard my statement about Vanessa. Couple of kids giggled.

Ironically, I was no longer the outcast because of my clothes. I was calling someone else freak-- Vanessa the freak.

"What do you want from me?" She whispered.

The loud music started to play again.

"Where's Brad?" I said sharply.

"I don't know..." She babbled.

I didn’t want to believe her. Before I could ask her about Friday, Marcus a.k.a number 21 showed up.

"Hey girl!" He shouted

“What do you want Marcus the minus?” I made that up. I thought it kinda rhyme.

“The name is Marcus Travis. And why are you bullying this poor girl?” He said.

“That’s none of your business number 21.” I walked away.

“For the last time it’s...” Marcus was following me through the crowd.

“If I wanted to call you by your miserable name I would have. Now scram!” I yelled annoyed.

I stepped forward but Number 21 seized me by my wrist. I turned slowly to face him. I wish I had my baseball bat. I would have hit him so bad for touching me that he would go home with a broken bone. I tried to free my hand but number 21 held me tighter. My anger was growing bigger. No one had never made me feel so powerless before. I felt trapped.

While I was struggling to escape Marcus’ strong grip, a familiar voice talked behind me.

“Let the girl go, Marcus.” Number 8 said.

Number 21 let go but he still had the courage to reply.

“Just because you’re the captain’s best friend doesn’t give you the right to give me orders, Hadrien!” Marcus had the nerve to say.

“You’re suspended Marcus. Remember? Nobody invited you here. Leave, now!” Number 8 looked serious with his brown eyes and medium black hair.

I thought if he added some eyeliner and threw some black clothes on, he would have been more like a dark hero. I’d love it.

“It’s not your party and it’s not your house. I’m not afraid of you, Hadrien.”

But Marcus finally listened to reason and left. Couldn’t tell if he left the party or not but I couldn’t care less. As long he didn’t bother me, I was fine. Like a true Goth damsel in distress, I thanked my hero.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“Anything for a friend of Brad...” He smiled back. His face lightened up.

“Did Brad talk to you about me?” I anxiously asked.

“Yea!” He answered. “And I saw you guys talking this morning. Remember Brad’s impatient ride... That was me.”

I was blushing. All I had in my head was ‘Brad talks about me with his best friend, Brad talks about me with his best friend, Brad talks about me with his BEST FRIEND....!!!’

“I’m Hadrien Parker. We have Chemistry lab together.” We shook hands briefly. “You’re Magalie Hogan.”

“I know who you are.” I nervously said. “You’re Brad’s best friend. Do you have any idea where he is by the way.”

He stared at me for a while before he answered.

“You should come to Brad’s parties more often... He’s where he usually is: in the backyard under the gazebo.”

“Thank you,” I politely said.

“See you around.”

We both went opposite directions. As I walked toward the yard, I could already see Brad’s silhouette standing through the window. I slowly approached him and stood next to him.

“Hi,” I timidly greeted him.

I was afraid of disturbing his peace. He apparently chose this place to stay away from the crowd.

“Hey,” He greeted me back with a smile on his handsome face.

If he didn’t want me next to him, he was doing a terrific job at hiding it.

“How do you like the party so far?” He asked.

“It’s great.” I said. “Why are you hiding here?” I asked.

“I like this place. It kinda reminds me of my old home.” He said looking around.


I was thinking of a way to ask him about his relationship with Vanessa but I could not think of anything.

“You miss your old home huh?” I said.

“Yea. The city is fun. But when you lived in a town for your life, it’s hard to really let go. No matter how small the town is.” Brad voice was a little sad.

“I missed my old house sometimes too.” I whispered. “I never told anybody before but I miss my dad.”

“You said that like it was a crime.” He laughed.

“Considering what my dad had done to my family, it should be a crime to even like him. But I can’t help it.” I whispered again.

“I guess. Let’s not talk about depressing things like that!” He breathed in and out.

“Speaking of depressing...” I hesitated before I continued. “Your friend Vanessa might need your support right now.”

I stared at Brad for an answer.

“What’s wrong with her?” He asked alarmed.

“She’s wearing a prom dress. A red one with tulle...”

Brad laughed.

“I better stay away from her.” He said on a serious tone. “She’ll be fine.”

“If you say so.” I continued. “I never thought you guys were friends before I saw you talking to her on Friday. And mysteriously disappeared... skipped classes all day...” I was waiting for an answer.

“You mean you don’t know what happened?” He frowned. “I thought the whole school knew by now...”

My heart raced.

“What happened?”

“I went to the cafeteria with her and I accidentally switched my knife which had peanut butter and jelly with hers. Vanessa is extremely allergic to peanut butter. I knew this since seventh grade. But I don’t know what pushed me to eat that next to her. She fell on the floor and the school called an ambulance... It was a disaster.” Brad sadly explained.

For me it was not sad at all. I was glad that’s what happened. Not that I was cruel enough to want Vanessa dead...

“Poor thing,” I tried to sympathize.

“And it was my fault.” Brad blamed himself.

“It was an accident. She’s your childhood friend, I’m sure she would understand.” I said.

“We are not really friends... I used to see her in middle-school... I think. But we never talked. We only said greeted each other in hallway at my old school.  I recently had a real conversation with her in this school. I feel really bad now. I don’t know how I will face her in the hallway...”

“I’m sure she doesn’t mind...” I tried to comfort him.

Brad smile at me. An awkward silence remained between us for a while. The night would have been quiet if it wasn’t for the One Direction music coming from Brad’s house and the enthusiastic girls screams that followed this song.

I avoided looking at Brad because I could feel his heavy glare on me. I was think really hard of something to say... But nothing came up.

After a while, Brad said,

“Stay here! I’ll get you some drink.” On theses words, he walked toward the house.

I was kinda glad. I could breathe normally and feel my heart slowing down. But my break didn’t last long for Number 21 showed up out nowhere.

“What in the world are you doing here?” I furiously asked.


“Don’t shush me! Answer my question!”

“I’m here to check on you. You didn’t kiss that moron did ya?” He whispered.

“You came here to spy on me? This is my private life!” I said as I blushed.

Number 21 read between the lines and with a victorious grin on hi face he said,


He pressed his body against mine and tied his arms around me. It happened so fast that I did not have time to protest. Next thing I knew was Number 21’s warm lips over mine... I was still in disbelief of what he was doing.

Just to confirm, a drunk kid saw us through the glass doors. He opened the doors and yelled for the whole house to hear,

“Guys! Goth girl and Marcus are kissing under the gazebo!”

For some unknown reason again, the loud music had stopped at the time the big mouth kid yelled. Everybody assembled in the backyard to stare and wowed at us. I managed somehow to free myself from Marcus.

I slowly walked my way home without looking at the crowd who was booing life if I ruined some type of show and one by one went back inside. I didn’t stop at Marcus’ voice calling me. I didn’t look either if Brad came back with the drink he promised and saw what happened.

I just walked home. I hated Marcus. I hated myself. I wanted to die. But death would be a nice punishment. So my only option was to live knowing that my first kiss was not from Brad but for my least favorite person in the world...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I Want You So bad~Chapter 7~The Game's on!

I arrived at the school thirty minutes before the game started. I sat in very first row facing the circle in the middle of the field. I placed my baseball bat next to me and relaxed my shoulders. Like my brother predicted, I was frying. I placed my hand on the small buttons on my sweater ready to unbutton. But I felt motion on my left. So I turned.

It was one of Brad’s soccer friends staring at me. I put my hand over my bat. He wanted to see something under that sweater and I wanted to hit him. I could not believe this but mom was right.

“Aren’t you hot?” He said with arrogance.

“So what if I am?”

“Never mind,” He said. “So you’re here to see the game?”

“Obviously. Aren’t you in the soccer team?”

“I was.” His face darkened. His blond hair covered his well sculpted face.

“What happened?” I curiously asked.

“I got suspended.”


“Because of Brad Kinns. We had a fight in the locker rooms the other day. So the coach said that I won’t play the next game if we don’t apologize to each other.”

“And you guys didn’t?” I was excited to hear about Brad’s life in his team.

“Brad’s the team’s captain. What do you think? He would do anything to keep his status. He apologized first thing in the morning. In front of the whole team and the coach.”

“What about you?”

“I didn’t.” He calmly said. “Brad is a selfish guy. In our last game, we could have score and win if he wasn’t so self-centered. I was right there begging him to pass the ball but he refused and messed up everything. I can’t stand this guy.”

I smiled. That was the first bad thing I’ve heard about Brad and I loved it.

“Why are you smiling? You don’t believe me?”

“I’m not denying what you say. But I talked to him. Brad’s nice to me.” I became nervous all of a sudden. I never talked about Brad to anyone and boy that felt great!

“Of course he’s gonna be nice to you. You’re hot. Goth but hot.”

I looked at the guy and shook my head. But then something interesting stroke my thoughts,

“You think that Brad find me pretty?” I timidly asked.

“Who wouldn’t?” He chuckled. “Do you have a crush on Brad?”

The question froze my smile.

“Shut up!” I yelled.

“You like that jerk! You’re wasting your time.”

“I thought you said he’d find me hot?”

“Yes, but not for long. The guy’s obsessed with himself.”

“Shut up number 21! And keep it to yourself that crush Brad thing. I don’t have a crush on him.” I was getting angry.

“The name is Marcus Travis. And you don’t have a crush on Brad. I get it. You love him. That’s why you come to this soccer game, right? That’s why you’re talking to me. Because I’m his team? Well you’re wasting your time. I haven’t told anybody yet but I’m going to quit soccer.”

I could not believe this. That Marcus guy saw right through me. I had to do something about it.

“I’m gonna kill you, number 21. Conversation is over!”

“Coward,” He whispered to my ear.

He was really close to me. I wanted to punch him. I was so busy talking to him, I didn’t realize that the benches were filled with people. Marcus hip was close to mine and his leg were touching mine. Gross. I took my baseball bat trying to squeeze it between us but it was impossible. I had to spend the entire game next to that weirdo. Perfect.

The game was about to start and the players were taking their positions. I saw Brad looking at me. I smiled and waved but he ignored me. I glanced at Marcus next to me who had a victorious expression on his face. I made a grimace with my face and turned. Ignoring him would be impossible, his leg was crushing mine.
After the first half, both teams were still zero-zero. I knew that because of the giant scoreboard across the field and because the audience did not scream “goal”. I was thirsty and dripping sweats. Disgusting me sat alone in the middle of strangers. Marcus had disappeared on me. I was happy that he did. He saved the trouble to find a new seat. But I was also intrigued to find out why Brad ignored earlier.

Just right before the second half began, Marcus regained his seat next to me. It was impossible for me to leave now that everyone came back to their seat. I rolled my eyes to ask him what was wrong with him. But he greeted me with a small towel, a big bottle of water, two hot dogs and sodas.

“Here you go sweat-bag. I told you to take off that sweater but apparently you won’t.” He gave me the water, a hot dog, the mini-towel, and the soda can.

“Thanks,” I said grateful.

“No prob.”

I looked at the field and Brad was looking at me again. He looked angry this time. I did not bother to wave my hand. I could not bear him ignoring me again. He turned his head back to his game. My heart was beating so fast that I could not eat properly. I swallowed real hard and had to fight the nausea feeling I was having. Did something happen between Brad and Vanessa? Did she tell him about my obsession? Or about some other invented nasty secrets about me? If Vanessa wished to play that way, I was ready to take her on. I was ready to play the obsession game!

My new problem was to convince Brad that Vanessa lied about whatever she said about me. I watched the game till the end. I was not even sure how it ended. There must have been one or two score-screams. I didn’t care. I was too preoccupied. After the game, Marcus tried to give me a ride home but I refused. I walked on the green field alone. I had to chase after Brad that was probably still in the locker rooms celebrating or sobbing over the game. But I was too scared to do so. Marcus was right; I was coward.

“Mag? What are you still doing here?” A familiar voice said behind me.

It was Brad, still in his soccer clothes. He looked ten times handsomer in his red soccer uniform.

“I was just...” I swallowed the answer. “What about you?”

“I didn’t expect to see you here. I came here by pure luck...” He was close to me once again. “I thought you left with Marcus...”

“No. He offered me a ride but I said ‘no thanks’”. I giggled.

“Really? I didn’t know you guys were friends.” He chuckled softly.

“We are not. On the bench where we sat, is the first time we ever talked to each other” I pointed at the bench.

“I’m sorry then. You guys seemed really close, you have no idea. What were you talking about together by the way?”

“About you. Marcus said that you w…” I stopped myself just on time.

I almost said that “Marcus said that Brad would find me hot”. That was so close.

“What?” Brad watched me blush.

“He said that you’re selfish!” I blurted out.

I closed my eyes. I could not believe I just said that. Brad just laughed it off. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing…

“I’m glad. I thought he told you something else. He’s referring to the last game. I was really selfish. We could have scored if I had passed the ball…” He said smiling.

Brad had another secret, I thought. What else would he fear Marcus telling me about him? I was glad he wasn’t mad at me. I’d let slide. For now.

“You did what you thought was the best..” I mumbled staring at Brad’s deep sea-green eyes.

“I’m glad you came today to support our team. This is unusual…” He let go of the heavy bags in his hands on the grass.

“I would have come often if I knew how this game worked…”  I placed my baseball bat on the grass and sat next to it.

“You mean you don’t know?” He sat next to me. He was dangerously close.

I shook my head. I would have come if I knew it was a part of the obsession game… I would have talked to Brad a long time ago.

“Let me explain you a little…”

I was happy to know about soccer. I was getting closer to Brad’s world. Looking at him talking to me, smiling, was a real pleasure. I found out thanks to his explanation that the goalkeepers switched side after the first half.

“No wonder it was so confusing,” I said. “So did you guys win?”

“Yes,” Brad answered. “2-0. I scored one.”

“Wow! You’re the captain for a reason.” I cheered.

“Yea.” Brad blushed.

His phone rang. So he turned to answer and I missed his face.

“It was my ride…” He said after hanging up. His face was fresh again. “I have to go now.”

He stood up and helped me do the same.

I grabbed my baseball bat as he grabbed his heavy-looking bag. I was speechless. I wanted to ask him about the other day so bad. But I didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“We’re throwing a small party to celebrate the team victory tonight… I was wondering if you could come.” Brad said nervously.

Was I crazy? Did Brad invite me to a party? I held my breath. No nosebleed, No nosebleed…

“I don’t know… Where?” I answered unsure. This was too good to be true.

“At my house… My parents are out of town. But if you don’t want to, it’s okay.” He scrambled his blond hair.

“Of course I want to. I don’t know what I should wear… I’ve never been to a party before…” Okay. That sounded lame. “I mean I’ve never been to a non-goth party before…” I hoped he believed me.

“You can wear what you usually wear. Black goes well on you…” He said smiling.

I became as read as a tomato. But a honk from a car not too far broke the spell.

“I’m coming!” Brad yelled at the car across the street behind us. “I gotta go. If you need a ride let me know.” He quickly said to me.

“No. I’ll be fine.”

Brad ran a few inches and then turned back.

“Party at my house 8 o'clock, you have to come!” He shouted.

“I’ll be there.” I shouted back.

No matter what Vanessa did on Friday, the game was on…